Nightmares
by KaydenceRei
Summary: Sawyer rolled his eyes. “I guess I got a little worried when Amy came pounding on the door telling me you woke up screaming and went running off into the night..” he answered with sarcasm. “But nah.. I don't like you or anything."


**Author's Note**: So, I honestly thought about turning this into smut, but decided against the idea. Oh well.

I guess I'll put this story out there for **kab16**. Us Sarah's gotta stick together, right?? Oh, I suppose I should put it out there for **teh-Sara **as well. Even though she thinks we spell our names wrong. I think SHE spells her name wrong!!

**Nightmares**:

To tell the truth, nightmares plagued her nights nearly _every_ night that she's been on the island. Every night since the day she realized Ben was never going to let her go home. Two and a half years worth of nightmares were becoming too much for her. She had long since stopped screaming when she woke up, but every time she woke up she was drenched in sweat, her breathing was heavy.

Jack had caught her waking up from a nightmare once. He had entered her tent to offer her some oatmeal for breakfast just as she had shot up from a deep slumber. She had seen the question in his eyes and yet he'd never asked about it. She'd never bothered to tell him about them either.

She'd been more then ready to get on the sub eight days ago but Sawyer had begged her for two more weeks. She didn't have the heart to tell him no, what was another two weeks of island-filled nightmares anyway?

But tonight was different. She was fairly certain someone had screamed when she'd awoken, and she was almost positive it was her. She raised her hands in front of her face and realized immediately that it most definitely had been her as her hands shook violent. Tonight's had been much different, much more realistic. She'd been falling, and falling, and when she hit the bottom there was no death. There was only endless, excruciating pain.

Was this supposed to be some sort of hint? That she would die here on this hellhole island and never see the real world again? Never escape the nightmares and reunite with her sister and the nephew she wanted so badly to meet? She'd been gone for over three years. Did Rachel even think about her anymore? Did she ask why her younger sister abandoned her at a time of need?

"Juliet?"

Juliet looked up at the door in shock as Amy stared in at her through the now open door.

"Are you.. alright?" she questioned hesitantly. She opened the door further and stepped in the room, looking at the blonde's shaking form. "Nightmares about the boat wreck?" she asked quietly, taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

Juliet hesitated in her response before she nodded silently as her response. She could tell she hadn't woken the other woman, and she knew just as well that Amy laid awake at night thinking about Paul. The man had been plaguing her nightmares just as this island plagued her own. "I'm sorry.. I woke you up.."

Amy smiled sadly. "Nonsense.." she replied, shaking her head. "I haven't slept much lately, I have my own demons when I dream," she admitted. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Juliet shook her head.

Amy sighed slightly.

"I.." Juliet hesitated now. "I need to get out of here.." she stated, getting up on shaky legs.

"Juliet.. it's pouring rain, sweetie.." Amy told her. "You should go back to sleep.."

Juliet shook her head and was out the door before Amy could stop her.

Amy watched the blonde take off. She went out to the hallway and watched as she ran out the front door and she felt the sadness lurking inside her. She grabbed a jacket quickly and ran two hours down where she knew the other four crew-members would be. Jim, Jin, Miles and Daniel. She didn't hesitate to pound on the door.

Sawyer narrowed his eyes as he sat up on the couch. They'd been rotating shifts between the beds and he had the couch tonight. He glanced over at the pounding on the door and instantly figured it had to be Juliet. He was surprised as he opened the door to see Amy there with a look of worry on her face. "You okay?" he questioned in confusion.

Amy shook her head. "It's not me, it's Juliet.." she told him immediately. "She woke up screaming, I went to check on her but she wouldn't talk, she just went running out of the house.."

Sawyer didn't hesitate now. "Where'd she go?"

Amy frowned. "I don't know.." she answered. "I was hoping she came here.. but I guess that was wrong."

Sawyer thought only for a moment before he nodded. "I know where she is.. thanks Amy," he stated.

Amy nodded as he stepped outside, no jacket, no shirt, no shoes. She watched him go running off and she smiled a little.

Juliet finally stopped running as she reached the water and the small waves crashed over her feet. She took a few deep breaths and dropped down to the sand. She couldn't decide what was worse anymore. Waking up and wondering how much longer before this place was the death of her, or waking up and wishing it would just take her over and be done with all these nightmares.

She sat in silence for several minutes as the raindrops pelted her and the waves lapped over onto her before she heard her name.

"Juliet!"

She glanced over to see Sawyer emerge from the path she had come from as well. He was staring at the docks but pretty soon his eyes came towards her and stopped. Silence was the only thing she could keep up with as she watched him come over to her and finally she looked away and stared back out at the ocean.

"You lost your mind?" he asked, staring down at her. "Your gonna get sick sitting out here like this."

"You know.. I can't figure out what's worse," she admitted, her voice quiet and shaky. "Every night I wake up from a nightmare and I either wish I could just die already, or I wonder _when_ this island will finally decide to kill me."

Sawyer was silent in response. He didn't hesitate in taking a seat next to her and he could tell from the vulnerability on her face that she was one hundred percent serious about what she had just told him. It took him a moment to realize in two sentences he had just learned more about her then he'd known the entire time he knew her before this.

"They never go away," she admitted. "Every night I think I die a little bit more.."

Sawyer took a deep breath and let her words sink in. "I heard.. people have a lotta' nightmares if they don't feel safe.." he replied after a moment of silence between them.

Juliet dared to glance over at him and she met his blue eyes with her own. "I suppose that makes sense.." she responded.

Sawyer studied her expression and realized there was still some fear in it. "What are ya' afraid of?" he finally dared to ask.

Silence.

"Dying?" he questioned.

Juliet shook her head. "No.. I'm not afraid to die anymore, that would just be a blessing at this point.." she answered quietly.

"Why don't you tell me?" he asked, finally daring to place his hand over hers.

"You don't even like me, James.." she pointed out, dragging her hand out from underneath of his. "I have nightmares, everyone has nightmares, you don't have to pretend to like me now _just_ because I had a nightmare."

Sawyer narrowed his eyes slightly.

Juliet took a moment to study him now and take in his appearance. "Why aren't you wearing a shirt.. or shoes?"

Sawyer rolled his eyes. "I guess I got a little worried when Amy came pounding on the door telling me you woke up screaming and went running off into the night.." he answered with sarcasm. "But nah.. I don't like you or anything, this is part of my disguise."

Juliet felt the edges of her lips curve upwards into a smile in response.

"It wasn't just one nightmare," Sawyer pointed out now. "Ya' already said so yourself, every night.." he stated, trying to keep his cool. He didn't want her to know how much the thought actually worried him. "Ya' never felt safe with Jack?" he questioned next, pondering that thought.

She met him with silence as she thought about what he said. "If you're once again trying to insinuate that I slept with Jack, the answer is still no," she told him. "And I know in some way, Jack cared.. but.."

"But you weren't Kate," Sawyer answered.

She didn't bother to dignify that with a response. "I've always done whatever I've had to, to try and get off of this island.."

Sawyer watched as her eyes once more met his and he frowned. "Then why didn't you leave eight days ago?"

"You asked me to stay," Juliet replied. "I didn't have it in me to say no I suppose," she answered.

Suddenly Sawyer didn't have it in him to ask her to stay longer as he'd originally planned. "If you didn't feel safe with Jack, with all of us, why did you stay with us on the beach?"

Juliet thought about her answer carefully now. Anything she told him would make her sound like a fool, so she figured she might as well answer with the truth. "He told me we could get off this island together.. I suppose somewhere deep down I wanted to believe him," she answered honestly. "Looking back on it.. I guess it was a juvenile belief.."

Sawyer wasn't entirely sure how to respond to that.

"Home isn't out there, is it?" she questioned.

Sawyer frowned, studying her face and trying to understand the question.

"It's like you said.. whatever I want to get back to, it doesn't exist yet.." she said with a sigh. She was already becoming immune to the freezing cold of the ocean water and the pouring rain. "There's nowhere I can go to feel safe anymore."

He wondered why he only just now realized how broken she truly was. Sure, he'd briefly seen the sorrow as she drowned herself in rum while they watching the smoking freighter go down. But after that they'd been so busy with time shifts, flaming arrows, threats of dismemberment and nuclear warheads that he'd never had the chance to notice it elsewhere.

"Sure there is," he stated calmly.

Juliet frowned slightly and studied his expression, dissected the statement. She couldn't make sense of it.

"You stick with me and I'll always keep ya' safe," Sawyer told her. He wondered where that had even come from because he'd never offered to keep someone else safe before.

"You can't promise that.." Juliet pointed out, shaking her head slightly and letting out a sigh of frustration.

Sawyer smiled a little. "You're right, I can't," he admitted. "But I'll try my damned hardest."

Juliet felt her eyes soften slightly. "How about a deal.."

Sawyer studied her slightly as she rested her head on his shoulder. He hesitated a moment before draping his arm around her. "What deal?" he dared to ask out of curiosity.

"I'll stay.. for as long as you do," Juliet offered. "But only if you're always honest with me."

Sawyer narrowed his eyes slightly. "Honest?"

Juliet smiled a little. "Yes.. honest, like you were just now about not being able to promise you'd always keep me safe, but that you'd try your best.." she explained. "No one is ever honest with me.. so, if you're always honest with me.. then I'll stay with you."

Sawyer chuckled slightly. "Well.. I'll try my best, but I've never been all that good at being honest."

Juliet let out a small laugh in response and lifted her face, her lips coming in contact with his cheek. "You're doing a pretty good job right now," she told him.

"That honesty thing goin' both ways?" he questioned.

Juliet studied his expression before she nodded. "Absolutely.."

Sawyer nodded slightly in response. "You wanna tell me about those nightmares..?" he finally dared to ask.

"Maybe one day.." she replied. "But not yet.."

"Fair enough," Sawyer answered. "Now let's get both our asses outta the rain before we _both_ get sick."

Juliet chuckled slightly as he stood up and offered her his hand. She didn't hesitate to take it and let him pull her to her feet. But she found herself letting out a laugh as he slipped and fell backwards, dragging her down on top of him.

Sawyer laughed too, he couldn't help it. The laugh she let out was so undeniably contagious and if he was honest, he'd never heard her laugh before just now. He figured that was probably a good sign. "You should laugh more often, sunshine," he suggested. "It suites ya'."

Juliet smirked now.

"What?" he questioned.

"That's the first nickname you've ever given me," she pointed out.

Sawyer laughed in response. "Never realized it was such an honor," he stated with a grin. "You gonna let me up any time soon?"

Juliet smiled now. "Maybe I feel safe like this.."

Sawyer raised an eyebrow up. "Well, honesty policy in check, you feeling of safety is uh.. my pleasure."

Juliet narrowed her eyes slightly before she caught his drift and she rolled off of him, lying beside him and letting loose another laugh. "That's horrible!"

"That was honest!" Sawyer replied with a grin.

"Your honesty could use some tact," she pointed out, trying to hide her smile.

Sawyer let out a short laugh in response. "If I tried to be tactful in what I was saying, I'd wind up lying, don't that go against policy?"

Juliet felt her lips twitch into the smile against her will. "Yes.. yes I suppose it does."

"In that case, you wanna go for that feelin' of safety again?" he suggested, waggling his eyebrows at her through the raindrops. "Cause, I feel pretty safe too when yer' on--"

"Oh my god," Juliet muttered, laughing in response. "You're incorrigible."

"Least I'm honest."

**()()END()()**

**Couldn't help myself at the end there. I figure Juliet and Sawyer based their entire relationship off of honesty and _that_ is why they worked. He wasn't Sawyer with her, he was James. That's what mattered most!**


End file.
